I Didn’t Want to be a Boy Mom- Part 2

*If you didn’t read part 1, read that first here

In the Fall of 2016, we were packing up our house to move to Mexico. This had been a desire for my husband and I- to take a year and immerse our kids in the Mexican culture and the language. We had been trying to get pregnant for about 18 months. Finally, we decided that it was time to move on and we began to give away our baby items. I scheduled a physical just as a step of something to do before we moved to another country. My doctor informed me that everything was fine. She joked that maybe I just needed to go to Mexico, relax on the beach and I would get pregnant. 3 weeks later I was in her office for my 1st pregnancy visit.

And there I was, pregnant. It was the start of another emotional roller coaster. Our plans to go to Mexico for a year were adjusted to be just a few months. The internal fears and worries had started as well….will this baby be okay? Will I have another miscarriage? And of course the big question- Could this baby be a girl?

It’s the question that is always there after having two boys. It’s the question that I didn’t want to linger on for too long. My mama heart wanted to stay neutral to this question that I had no control of. It felt dangerous to even go there. On one side, it seemed like I didn’t enjoy being a mom to the two boys I already had. On the other side, I was hopeful to maybe have a little girl to keep me company in a house full of boys.

My response as people’s questions began was turning to humor. When someone would ask, “Do you want a boy or a girl?” I would respond, “Either one is fine. It’s not like a vending machine where you can put in some coins and make a selection.” People would usually laugh and we’d move on in the conversation. But inside I was afraid to admit that I had a great desire to have a daughter.

It was time for the ultrasound, yes the one where they usually can tell you the gender. I was on the table and as I looked around the room I saw my husband, and my two sons. We were all eagerly awaiting the results. The moment came so quickly after so much anticipation, the doctor said, “It’s a boy!” And of course I had no doubts because I had already gotten use to recognizing “the third leg” in the picture.

My journey of accepting my role as a Mom of Boys has had it’s ups and downs. I have had to ask God to show me how to raise boys again and again. I have read books about raising boys. And I have even had to grieve the little girl I never had. (More on that in another blog 😉

I believe that God gives us the kids that we are meant to raise whether by birth, adoption or being a support to the parents. If you have a boy in your life-give him a little grace. Smile and laugh with him when he farts and you will have a buddy for life. Be on the watch for the moments where you get a glimpse into their tender heart because- yes!- their hearts are so tender.

So I didn’t want to be a mom of ALL boys and that’s okay to admit. I still love my three sons so much! I wouldn’t change any of it- well maybe less farts!

I Didn’t Want to be a Boy Mom-Part 1

My oldest son just turned 12.  He wasn’t just the one who made me a mom, he was also the first to make me a Mom of Boys or #MOB. 

When my oldest was born I was fine with the idea that I was having a boy.  In the perfect birth order I had imagined for any future kids I would have, my first was a boy.  The second would be a girl.  Then we would see if there would even be a third. 

We were living in Mexico when I found out we were expecting a baby.  It’s always a new experience for any first time mom.  To make things extra interesting we had to borrow money to buy a pregnancy test.  Then the whole stick got saturated with urine so it was ruined-it is best practice to pee into a cup and then put the stick in…just saying.

Eventually it was time to go to the doctor for the magical ultrasound.  You know the one, where they tell you if there are three legs or just two 🙂 

My hubby was holding my hand and I felt him squeeze it as the doctor told me he had found a penis.  What?!?  My husband was so excited that his first born would be a son.  And I was happily naive of the world I would soon enter. 

It was okay.  Our first born would be a son and then we would have a second baby- a daughter.

I had no idea in that moment that I was being thrown into a world where I would have to make decisions about things like circumcision. 

I would have to learn to clean a diaper so that I wouldn’t get squirted when my precious little baby peed without a diaper on.  Peepee Teepees are a cute idea but not actually practical, a washcloth is much better so you can just throw it on top like a rain tarp.

Me and my first son Josue
Josue 2 years old, wearing snow boots and a diaper 🙂

During my second pregnancy, I was mentally prepared for a girl.  It would follow the pattern in our families. Both my husband and I come from families where the first born is a son and the second born is a daughter.

When the doctor found a penis once again on the ultrasound I was in shock. Why would God give me a second son? What do I know about raising boys?

I would go back and forth between the practical benefits of having two boys- like the benefit of hand me downs, and similiar likes in toys, cartoons etc.

Then I would doubt my capabilities of raising two sons. How would I connect with boys? God was so patient with me.

God began to show me a purpose in giving me two sons. Now don’t misunderstand me, I believe with all my heart that God gives us the kids that we are made to parent. I believe that raising girls is just as important as raising boys, but this is how God helped me embrace my role as a Mom of Boys.

God showed me that this world is in great need of little boys who will grow into strong men. Men who can be leaders with good morals. Men who will love on their wives. Men who will be present with their own kids.

I began to understand that my role as a #BoyMom was bigger than I could imagine.  I had an important job to do.  God entrusted me with sons who will someday grow into men.

This new realization was a game changer for me. By 2012, I was a mom to two little boys. My house had been over taken with Hot Wheels and Dinosaurs.

Josue holding his baby brother Josiah
These two are too cute

Even better, my heart was being overtaken by the best little hugs ever- hugs of a little boy who thinks his mom is his world. My arms were full as I breastfed my second son and enjoyed his contagious little smile.

Josiah-So smily even with his helmet on

After having two sons, I was learning that raising boys was a unique responsibility. I was learning that boys are physical and loud and yet wonderful. I was smitten with their tender hearts hidden deep below farting sounds and stinky feet.

I was finally in a place where I was thankful to be a mom of two healthy and happy boys!

Our family of 4…..Little did I Know there would be another one