I Didn’t Want to be a Boy Mom-Part 1

My oldest son just turned 12.  He wasn’t just the one who made me a mom, he was also the first to make me a Mom of Boys or #MOB. 

When my oldest was born I was fine with the idea that I was having a boy.  In the perfect birth order I had imagined for any future kids I would have, my first was a boy.  The second would be a girl.  Then we would see if there would even be a third. 

We were living in Mexico when I found out we were expecting a baby.  It’s always a new experience for any first time mom.  To make things extra interesting we had to borrow money to buy a pregnancy test.  Then the whole stick got saturated with urine so it was ruined-it is best practice to pee into a cup and then put the stick in…just saying.

Eventually it was time to go to the doctor for the magical ultrasound.  You know the one, where they tell you if there are three legs or just two 🙂 

My hubby was holding my hand and I felt him squeeze it as the doctor told me he had found a penis.  What?!?  My husband was so excited that his first born would be a son.  And I was happily naive of the world I would soon enter. 

It was okay.  Our first born would be a son and then we would have a second baby- a daughter.

I had no idea in that moment that I was being thrown into a world where I would have to make decisions about things like circumcision. 

I would have to learn to clean a diaper so that I wouldn’t get squirted when my precious little baby peed without a diaper on.  Peepee Teepees are a cute idea but not actually practical, a washcloth is much better so you can just throw it on top like a rain tarp.

Me and my first son Josue
Josue 2 years old, wearing snow boots and a diaper 🙂

During my second pregnancy, I was mentally prepared for a girl.  It would follow the pattern in our families. Both my husband and I come from families where the first born is a son and the second born is a daughter.

When the doctor found a penis once again on the ultrasound I was in shock. Why would God give me a second son? What do I know about raising boys?

I would go back and forth between the practical benefits of having two boys- like the benefit of hand me downs, and similiar likes in toys, cartoons etc.

Then I would doubt my capabilities of raising two sons. How would I connect with boys? God was so patient with me.

God began to show me a purpose in giving me two sons. Now don’t misunderstand me, I believe with all my heart that God gives us the kids that we are made to parent. I believe that raising girls is just as important as raising boys, but this is how God helped me embrace my role as a Mom of Boys.

God showed me that this world is in great need of little boys who will grow into strong men. Men who can be leaders with good morals. Men who will love on their wives. Men who will be present with their own kids.

I began to understand that my role as a #BoyMom was bigger than I could imagine.  I had an important job to do.  God entrusted me with sons who will someday grow into men.

This new realization was a game changer for me. By 2012, I was a mom to two little boys. My house had been over taken with Hot Wheels and Dinosaurs.

Josue holding his baby brother Josiah
These two are too cute

Even better, my heart was being overtaken by the best little hugs ever- hugs of a little boy who thinks his mom is his world. My arms were full as I breastfed my second son and enjoyed his contagious little smile.

Josiah-So smily even with his helmet on

After having two sons, I was learning that raising boys was a unique responsibility. I was learning that boys are physical and loud and yet wonderful. I was smitten with their tender hearts hidden deep below farting sounds and stinky feet.

I was finally in a place where I was thankful to be a mom of two healthy and happy boys!

Our family of 4…..Little did I Know there would be another one

How Will the World be Different for my Sons After this Pandemic?

I have asked myself this question so many times in the past weeks. How will the world be different after this pandemic? What will the world look like as my boys grow up? What will be the markers in their mind where they remember things shifting? How will this mark this generation like those that came before them?

With Memorial Day coming around the corner, I have also thought about some of the big events in history that stand out to so many, where our soldiers have led the way with their bravery. Where the nurses, firefighters and citizens have done their part to move forward each day.

For many people they remember their Fathers going away to fight in wars. They remember hard times where food was hard to come by and families were worried about being bombed.

I was watching a Peter Pan sequel the other day with my boys, thanks to Disney+, and Wendy was the mom whose husband went away to war and the children were being put on trains to go live in the countryside for safety during the war. Thankfully, Wendy’s children were taken off to Neverland for some adventures with Peter Pan instead of going on the train.

While I watched this movie, I was grateful that during this unprecedented time I am able to stay at home with my kids. The grocery stores have caught up on the demand for most necessary items. We can leave our house and go for a walk to breathe in fresh air. We are not running to bomb shelters in the middle of the night.

Yet, I know many of my friends have been on lock down in their cities. Many countries are still facing the peak of the virus affecting their citizens. Many people are living in fear, especially fear for the future.

Again, I ask myself, “How will this change the way we live? How will this change the way my kids grow up?”

I am 37 years old. When 9/11- the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001 happened I was a freshman in college. I was just getting adjusted to life in the dorms at the University I was attending. I had grown up in a time where we believed the USA was untouchable. That morning we were made aware of the false security we had been living in. We realized how quickly things could change.

I will never forget watching the towers in New York City crashing to the ground as I stood in front of the TV screen. Classes were cancelled. Life was put on hold. The United States became united as people hung up flags and were proud of their citizenship.

Everywhere you turned you saw people coming together, grieving together, and serving eachother selflessly together.

That moment in history changed people. It changed how things were done. 9/11 reminded people of their vulnerability and how much we need eachother.

Here we are again. Facing a time in history that is affecting the whole world. It is changing the way people do things. It is causing us to face the fact that we are vulnerable and most importantly that we need eachother.

I am not saying that our situation today is the same as a World War, but I am saying that this time will change how we do things. This time will be something we all remember.

My oldest son is 11. This year he started Middle School. Will he remember the new found freedom of being one of the “big kids” at the school? Or will he remember Distance Learning and everyone around him wearing facemasks?

How will having Proms and Graduations cancelled effect the Seniors as they move forward and make decisions in life? Will they life differently because they are more aware of how quickly life can change?

I do not know what life will be like in the future or what the world will look like for my three sons as they grow up.

The only thing I do know is that I will be here for them as they experience new things. I will be here when they cry because they miss their friends-yes even my boys cry. And I will be here to reassure them that they aren’t alone and I am here for them.

I am their mom and I will do whatever I can to comfort them and help them feel secure and confident. I will protect them like a mama bear and I will kick them out of the nest like a mama bird. This is what we do as moms.