Today my hubby and I were suppose to be traveling to Japan for an amazing getaway, JUST THE TWO OF US. We had our tickets bought and we were in contact with friends we would visit.
Grandma and Grandpa had taken vacation days at work and they were ready to do us a HUGE favor! (Let’s face it, watching three boys can require a lot of energy.) And they were up for the task.
We had been dreaming about seeing the Cherry Blossoms opening up and being there to take pics in person. They are so beautiful!
And more than anything we were dreaming about some time as husband and wife. We could travel light and leave the stroller and diapers behind.
We could visit restaurants that were different and taste new delicacies without bribing little people to eat vegetables so they could have some artificial fruit snacks.
Instead, today my big getaway will be traveling to the grocery store in hopes of finding coffee creamer and hand soap-hopefully a big bottle with moisturizer! (Are your hands as dry as mine are?)
Today’s reality isn’t what I expected. Our family of five is together everyday all day and we are regularly forcing the kids to eat slimy food like tomatoes. Telling them to get out of the pantry where they could snack all day if we let them. (Some days I do, no judgement here ;))
It’s surreal how quickly things have changed in all of our lives.
These changes have caused me to evaluate what is going on in both my mind and my heart. Is it okay for me to wish I had somewhere to go? Is it okay that I’m hiding in a room and locking the door? I feel like my life is under a microscope and there is no where to escape.
It is also forcing me to dig into my identity and my worth. Am I a good mom? Are my boys watching too many videos or playing too many video games? What will others say about me if they see the homework my boys are turning in during distance learning?
These are all real thoughts and feelings that I’m sure many of us are dealing with right now. And we can add fear and uncertainty to the list to really shake us up in whatever season of motherhood we find ourselves in.
But today I am going to CHOOSE JOY even though I may not feel it. I believe that where my thoughts are my actions and feelings will follow.
I will choose Joy because my kids constant grazing in the kitchen means we have food to eat. My hiding out in rooms of our house means I have people who want to spend time with me.
Most importantly I choose joy because I know that better days are coming! I know that on the other side of this challenging time I will be a stronger woman, wife and mother!
James 1:2 (MSG)
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. YOu know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.